Dirty Little Secrets

by Calendar Hacksaw

 

It’s been six months or half-a-year since I last wrote about Hantavirus, so I figure it’s time to do it again; springtime’s comin’ and that’s when we seem to start reading news reports about it.

Why is that?

Well, for a couple of reasons, I suspect. First of all, Hantavirus can’t survive below a certain temperature. I can’t remember exactly what temperature it is, so I’ll leave that to your own research. Let me know what you find out.

Second, springtime is when most of us idiots head out to the old shed, barn or trailer to start cleaning up for the summer. And that’s when we run into the invisible devil.

So, let’s get a head start on it, okay?

I must admit, I’m a lot less fearful of Hantavirus today than I was a year or two ago. It’s not that the disease has become less prevalent; it’s just that I’m better educated. And so are you. But it’s time for the usual disclaimer: Calendar Hacksaw is not an expert on Hantavirus, and you’re responsible for your own health and research. I’m just a rural columnist.

The key thing to remember is that bleach kills Hantavirus. Some say a 10% solution is sufficient; I say play it safe and go with 15%. As some of you know, I’m not very good at math, and figuring out 15% of anything is tough for me, which explains my poor tipping practices at the Cow Belle. But consider this: 100 beer cans full of water mixed with 15 beer cans of bleach equals a 15% solution. To trim that measurement down a little, try 10 beer cans full of water mixed with 1-1/2 beer cans of bleach. How you empty the beer cans in the first place is your business, but I could make a few suggestions.

There’s been a few items of concern I’ve read in the newspapers during the past few months, so let’s review them. Bear with me, it’s just a hobby.

First of all, I was more than a little concerned, as I’m sure you were, about a January report from the Idaho Statesman about an airman at Mountain Home Air Force Base who contracted the virus. Officials said they weren’t sure where he got it; he’d been on leave over the holidays, and they were trying to re-trace his travels over the past 45 days. Hell, I couldn’t even answer that question about myself.

But the air base does maintain a horse stable, and infected deer mice were found there last June. I presume that since we’re talking about Idaho, a cold damned place, they keep the horse stables heated during the winter. Nothing like a nice, warm stable to keep the Hantavirus alive. I didn’t even know the Idaho Air Force still flew horses.

From Omaha, Nebraska came word of another fella who was stricken, the second case to be diagnosed in that state. He survived, barely, after doctors induced a coma to take the load off his lungs and internal organs. He got hit in October, but being a young buck and in good health, he managed to return to work in January, 45 pounds lighter. Biggest complaint: memory loss. Can’t recall anything you told him 5 minutes ago.

Where was I?

A couple of pretty good stories from outside the U.S.A. China Times reported that Taiwan has quite a Hantavirus problem in the eastern county of Hualien (pronounced "Loraine"). Two suspected deaths, and local officials are worried about a new strain. The government has now launched an effort to eradicate the rat population, estimated at 80 million, primarily in movie theaters, hotels and restaurants. Ask your travel agent. But I can’t help wonder how anyone could possibly estimate the rat population with any degree of accuracy or certainty.

This is quite an important thing in China, where half the 150,000 confirmed cases of Hantavirus took place last year ("150,000 confirmed cases?" In one year? What’s up with that?). Taipei is considering importing a vaccine from Mainland China, but first must determine if it would be effective. Personally, I think we need both a prevention and a cure, but let’s work on the cure first.

The worst news for us locals came from Utah, where the Salt Lake Tribune reported that a team of research types from the State University’s biology department found that all-terrain vehicles can help spread Hantavirus. What happens is this: The dune buggies, motorcycles, ATVs and whatnot force the damned mice into living in close quarters, spreading the disease at faster rates among themselves, sort of like venereal disease, but without the all-terrain vehicle connection. Just another good reason for our Sheriff to scrap his plans for a rural off-road vehicle unit.

Finally, from the Sacramento Bee in September came word that an unidentified female physician was stricken by Hantavirus and barely survived the ordeal. And where did the good doc pick up the bug? Who knows? Your guess is as good as mine, because either she doesn’t know or she ain’t tellin’. Talk about keeping a dirty little secret!

Folks, occasionally a lot of us spend some time where we hadn’t oughta be. And, yeah, we’d likely be in a world of hurt if anyone found out where we’d been. But Hantavirus is serious business, and I think each of us has an obligation to put the public good ahead of our own selfish concerns. So please, make this pact: if you think you’ve contracted Hantavirus, spill your guts before it’s too late. It you were attending an intimate little wine and cheese party with half a dozen like-minded "free spirits" inside a 12-foot Bellwood travel trailer manufactured in Aloha, Oregon circa 1953, that’s okay with us as long as you come clean before you die. Names aren’t important; places are. Don’t take your secret to the grave, or you might take some of us with you, and we never liked you very much anyway.


Calendar Hacksaw hangs out at http://www.calendarhacksaw.com, and he reminds you not to forget about adequate ventilation, too. With the windows wide open, a 15% bleach solution and enough empty beer cans, we’ll all be around to enjoy Team Penning come Labor Day weekend.

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